Reasons why I am in love with Adam from Girls and what we could all learn from him

I’m having a bit of an insomniac period at the moment and have begun re-watching ‘Girls’, a tv series from HBO. I’m not saying it’s the most ground-breaking programme ever, but I think it has a kind of raw honesty about it at times which I like, and I think it captures the essence of a lot of what people my age might be feeling. It also touches on some important topics like mental health, sexuality and virginity, drugs and growing up (though it is criticised for a narrow spectrum of social inclusion in that all of the cast are pretty much middle/upper class white people). But that doesn't render it to be a bad show. It’s also pretty funny, which is saying something given that I’m not a big fan of comedy.  Even if you haven’t seen the show this is still worth reading in that it might convince you to watch it and you’ll have potentially discovered something new and enjoyable, or at least a way to join the hordes of students currently avoiding revision. And like I say, it’s actually kind of pertinent to growing up and, at least for me, provokes reflection. Anyway, this blog post is about why I think Adam is such a cool character, and more importantly why I think that I might be entirely in love with him. And I think there is a lot people could learn from him. Not just guys. I also just want to apologise for what appears to be a ‘fan girl’ blog post. Never thought of myself as that kind of girl, but then I also realised today that I stopped eating ketchup.  I have no idea when that happened. But back to Adam; in the first scene where he is introduced he comes across as some sort of perverted psychopath – which to some extent he is (which is strangely attractive)  – but throughout the show he becomes a really believable and likeable character. Here’s a list of reasons why he is a great character (and why I want to marry him):

1.       He’s brutally honest, which is a virtuous (and also hilarious) trait, and here are just a few examples:

“I don’t hate your friends. I’m just not interested in anything they have to say”.

“You never ask me anything besides, ‘Does this feel okay,’ or ‘Do you like my skirt,’ ‘How much is your rent?’ You don’t want to know me. You want to come over in the night and have me fuck the dog shit out of you and then leave and write about it in your diary”.

I think these quotes also serve to show how perceptive he is and how he reads people really well. And how he only holds onto relationships that are worth it, which I’m finding is a big part of growing up. There comes a point where you can’t hold onto everyone, which is a stage that everyone reaches (I think), but particularly being on my year abroad, I can’t make the effort with everyone. There are too many people in too many places, and there isn’t enough time. So you have to be selective and choose to hold onto the people who are worth it. And that doesn’t mean talking every day. Maybe just sending the odd postcard here or there to let them know you’re thinking of them and that you’re still alive. It shows you took more time than to message them on Facebook. And besides, it’s a widely accepted fact that EVERYONE likes getting good post.  Adam would probably send good post, I’m almost certain of it.

2.       He fights.

There is nothing more unattractive than someone who isn’t interested in something. I think the best fight he is in is when he meets Hannah at a warehouse party and they decide to go scrapping (like skipping but for metal and wood not food) together and then they get into a fight about what she wants from him, and essentially what he shouts (in the most hilariously cute and angry way) is ‘what do you want, me to be your boyfriend?’. And yes they do end up together, which is sweet. And I think it’s important to fight (constructively) when you really feel strongly about something, and from a mushy girl perspective, a boy fighting for a girl is just unbelievably sweet. It’s the way he lets himself be vulnerable by being open, which links back to his honesty I guess. It’s noble.

3.       I think his attitude towards relationships is healthy and passionate, and in the strangest way he’s a warm person.

For example, he tells Hannah to let go of ‘toxic relationships’ as it doesn’t serve her to carry unnecessary negativity around. But what I find more attractive is his attitude towards love and how he understands and behaves in light of genuinely loving Hannah. One of the most remarkable things that he says about love is that “when you love someone, you don’t have to be nice to them all the time”. I’m not saying that this is a way of justifying being a horrible boyfriend/girlfriend, but I think that it is one of the most fundamental aspects of relationships that people forget. It’s not always about being warm and fluffy and perfect. It’s just about accepting all of the bad that comes with a person because their good is more than worth it, and because above all else the pain of being with them is nothing to that when they aren’t around. I think there is an important message in this that just because something might not be the easiest, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t persevere with it. And that doesn’t count just for relationships, but all aspects of life.

The scene where Hannah is going crazy and cuts her hair off (after a resurfacing of her OCD amongst other emotional stresses) just melts me. He literally runs to her apartment and picks her up. I think all most people want in life, boys and girls, is someone to pick them up and look after them, which means sharing the good times and bad. And that’s why I think people are the most important thing, and why during my semester break I’m taking a tour round some seemingly unnecessary places around Europe, because there are people I can’t wait to see, who I would like to see more of, but even when that isn’t possible, I know they are there (and yes they do send me good post sometimes).

4.       He is physically very attractive. Like ridiculously attractive. The most attractive?

I think all this requires is a photo. I'm not intentionally objectifying the male body here, he just rarely wears clothing (which I'm definitely okay with).

Also worth noting that he is trying to build a boat (so he is like practically as well as intellectually smart). I don’t think I’ve ever seen his hands that closely in any of the scenes, but I bet they are like perfect man hands (girls probably know what I mean by this). It is also sweet that despite being really fit, he still loves Hannah even though she really isn’t; he even says “I’d rather you were healthy and fat”. Definitely not the kind of boy who judges you for sitting around in the evening watching tv and eating chocolate.

5.       Adam is true to himself and doesn’t waste time doing things that aren’t important to him:

“When I broke up with my girlfriend from college — SO sad. I lost 30 pounds, and I couldn’t move or talk or get my dick hard. BUT, it also made me go, “Hey. Who am I and what do I want?” And then I was like BOOM. I know who I am. I wanted to switch majors, and buy a circular saw, and I promised myself that I’d follow my gut, no matter what. And I do what makes me feel good”.

And that’s something everyone can relate to I think.

6.       He calls Hannah kid.

I don’t know why but I find this ridiculously cute. I think it just goes back to the way that he looks after her, its adorable.

I realise I am not the first person to rave about how much of a cool character he is and that other people have definitely written better character exposes about him. But I think these are the main reasons I find him attractive, which are all traits that are genuinely attractive in people, not just guys. I also reckon he wouldn't mind chilling out and listening to music, which I think is important (both music and chilling). I think I'm going to make it a habit to post a link to a song with each blog post because it's what I spend most of my time doing, so here's one for this post: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jcu1AHaTchM

Mostly, I think Adam (as a character) is designed to make you think about what you want in life, what you do about it, and about what is important in a relationship (even just a friends-based one). I appreciate that. Beats Eastenders anyway.