So it’s time to go home for Christmas and probably
the first time I’ve actually properly been home in a while. Between working two
jobs over summer, seeing friends and the like, the only real time I was there
was when nursing particularly bad hangovers in the foetal position on the sofa.
After some, or rather copious amounts of time indulging my Thought Catalog
addiction – and if you don’t know what it is don’t look for it, it’ll be 2015
before you look up from the computer again – I came across a list of mega-cool J.D
Salinger quotes. For those of you who still have a blank face, catcher in the
rye. If your face is still blank shame on you. Go to your nearest library,
immediately. I was going to link the list in this post, but I think I might
want to just talk about others in the future. So anyway, I found this quote (at
the top) and it seemed fitting given that the German green is not the English green,
but green and good nonetheless. (I don’t deny that this quote goes deeper than
what I’m about to discuss, but being provocative yet not exhausted isn’t a bad
thing, you guys can think on it a bit more for me). My Erasmus friends are all
so keen to go home, to go back to their green and the comfort that it offers,
but I’d rather just take a minute to reflect on how seeing a new green – gruen let’s
call it – has changed how I see the grass, and more importantly how I expect to
see it, or the fact that this expectation is really nothing to expect nothing at
all.
I think the most overwhelming difference in Germany
to me personally is time. And the abundance of it. I am in no way belittling
German degree programmes, in fact I think some of the German students I have
met here are amongst the most engaged people I’ve ever come across. What I mean
is, there are not constant essays and reading lists that suck up all of your
time. There’s actually some room for living too. Time to try new things, visit
museums, actually get to know the place you’re living in. Student culture here,
in my opinion is very different (but do bare in mind that I haven’t befriended
thousands of Germans). Nightlife is much more proper. Yes they drink. A lot.
But there seems to be something more relaxed about the way that German students
do it, it’s not like British binge drinking culture so much. And it’s totally
okay to drink on the streets here. Something tells me not a lot of work is
going to get done in summer semester… And German girls, just thank you for not
going out in winter in a crop top and hot pants. Without a coat. I have not
missed this. So on the eve of my return to Norwich and the inevitable sight of
Prince of Wales on a Saturday night, I’m forced to try and reconcile my two
expectations of a night out. A reconciliation that I have decided will just be
to recognise and enjoy the variety that I’m being presented with. Both are good
and bad in their own ways. Though having experienced both, I’d like to see a
middle ground. English girls with coats
might suffice?
Coming back to German university, what I found most
interesting and challenging is the lack of lectures here. I do six courses, one
of which has lectures. The rest are seminars, often student led, which is not
the English way of doing things. We like to sit quietly, withhold our
reservations, then leave the lecture hall and bitch to our friends about what
we just experienced and how awfully boring or wrong the lecturer was. Here
critical discussion is much more normal. No not even much more normal, it just
is normal. I think it is a terribly british thing – which yes I am guilty of –
to not just express your honest opinion. But here it’s okay to just say it. I
like that. Beating about the bush didn’t ever really help anyone. In fact,
dishonestly is actually one of the most unattractive qualities a person can
have (or withholding the truth equally so). So apologies if I come home and say
things that appear rude (though I’m sure some of you are used to me being blunt
on an English scale anyway). It doesn’t serve anyone for me to tell them what
they want to hear when it’s not what I want to tell them, when it’s not what
helps the most. So going back to Salinger, don’t expect the grass to look a certain
way. I will not tell you it’s green, I might say it’s gruen and just because it’s
not what you anticipated, don’t take it personally. There is nothing malicious
about it, it’s just a matter of me having a different perspective. And the
emphasis here is that it is my opinion, take it or leave it.
This isn’t a blog about how I think living in
Germany is better (which I’m not saying it is or isn’t) just about variation
and being critically open to it. I think I was relatively open to being
critical before coming here, but I think living abroad and the exposure to the
unknown forces you to take new perspectives into account, to challenge norms,
everywhere, not just at home. I think it’s important for people to be critical
and not accept something because ‘that’s just how it’s done’. Or because it’s
easier or you are told it should be this way. These are not good reasons at
all. I think contemporary society is plagued by this kind of apathy. And I’m
tired of being apathetic and disheartened by seeing it in others around me.
This may a little previous, but it’s the season of
resolutions. I’m not aiming to be more productive, eat better, read more books.
I would like to do these things, but I don’t want to set myself unattainable targets
(said tongue in cheek). I’m resolving to
not make resolutions at all. Instead I want to try and see everything, not just
though my green lens. There might be “some other way that may be just as good,
and maybe much better”. And what’s more, I’m going to go home, and really go home, and give it
a chance. Maybe Norwich isn’t tarnished with the grungy green brush I think it
is. Maybe it doesn’t even smell like manure anymore (though I would(n’t) want
to hold my breath on that one). But here’s to finding out, and being constructively
critical of my future discoveries – a life plan, not a new year’s resolution –
and to spending the Christmas holidays with the best people I know in the
world. Merry Christmas guys.
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