Five things to do when everyone around you seems to have direction and you feel a million miles away from where they are or where you want to be

I haven’t posted a blog in a while so in another attempt to avoid doing uni work, I’ve decided to put something a bit more personal out there.  I’ve been doing way too many things since I last posted to even try and fill you in, and they really aren’t that interesting anyway, so instead I’m going to write about something I’ve thought a lot about this week. With it being Christmas and everyone going home to their family and peoples it’s an appropriate topic, in my opinion. For reasons I really don’t care to discuss, there have been a number of things that have bothered me. But don’t worry, this blog isn’t about them. In all honesty I probably don’t like you enough to tell you about them anyway. And I hate people who whine on the internet and clog up my Facebook with statuses like ‘feeling sad. Need hugs’. Get off your laptop and get them then. (Perhaps harsh, but my opinion. I appreciate the British stiff upper lip mentality and reckon most people could just man up). Instead I decided to talk about things I think are good to do when you get to a point where there is a lot of change going on in your life, which I think is probably true for most people whether or not they are living in another country or not. So, as indicated by the title, here is a list of things to do when everyone around you seems to have direction and you feel a million miles away from where they are or where you want to be (both physically – making me around 600km out depending on where ‘away’ is – and emotionally). I could probably talk about this for a long time, but I’m going to limit myself to five things. Being concise is a good skill. And these are things that I think are important. Feel free to disagree, I really don’t care. It’s just more interesting for me to write about rather than how many lectures I went to (and failed to understand) last week.  

1.  Give up on things that no longer do anything for you, if they ever even did. Yes it’s hard to break a habit, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it.  

I have been trying to do this in more ways than one, but I think the best way of explaining it is with my decision to be vegan. Since being in Germany I feel like the amount of junk food I eat has increased, exponentially. Although I can’t claim that chocolate doesn’t taste good, I always instantly feel bad after eating it, mostly because I know I have no self-control. I just bought a big bar of milka but am only going to eat two squares said no one. EVER. So by taking away my ability to eat milk, I have removed this issue. It’s probably fortunate that Germany doesn’t have good cheese too. But on the wider scale, just do something to break the cycle. Stop holding onto how things were, things change. So change with them. It’s like stuffing your feet into shoes you wore when you were five. They aren’t right for you anymore, they will hurt and you won’t get very far. 

2.       Listen to some new music.

I love music. Anyone who really knows me knows that in times of hardship my iPod is my best friend; well it always is to be honest. It’s dependable, adapts to my every mood, and is way less annoying than people. Anyone who has ever listened to a song and got goose bumps will understand how deep this bond goes. That said, music is not always good. I don’t mean this in a sense that some songs are rubbish. Yes they are. But music can also be bad because like everything it has connotations. There will always be those songs that that boy sung to you, or you listened to on repeat when your dog died, or from the summer you spent with the friends you are now missing so much. They will make you feel worse. So stop listening to them. Play something new. Embrace the fact that your life is going somewhere else, and make a new soundtrack for it. Here’s a good starting point. It took my ages to work out that this was originally by Kylie…

3.       Do some exercise.

I have read/been told that it has been ‘scientifically proven’ – which I am saying with caution – that exercise releases good endorphins. I’m not saying you will instantly be happy and that you will stay happy. The world is not that simple.  But for an hour or so you’ll stop thinking about other things and you’ll feel better knowing you aren’t a coach potato. And if you’re doing this at the gym, check out all the hot guys (or girls) while you’re there, added bonus. 

4.       Talk to people you haven’t in a while, for whatever reason, who are still important despite this. And tell them this. A good friend doesn’t care how often you talk to them. It’s about quality, not quantity?

If you’re feeling a little unloved or detached don’t just sit around and sulk. Relationships work both ways, so make the first move. Make time to talk to friends, no matter how long it’s been. Find out where they are at; just don’t judge your life relative to theirs. Yes they might have a job lined up whereas you are coming to the end of uni with no prospects. But rather than being bitter and anxious about it, be happy for them. If you can’t do it for someone else, what chance do you have for yourself? 

5.       Do the things you’ve got to. Postponing things only makes it harder later.

This is somewhat hypocritical given my current procrastination. But finish that essay you’ve been putting off or whatever else it is. This is a no-brainer really.

So I lied. There are going to be six points. 

6.       YOBO

To quote Kate Frantzusova 'you only Bonn once'.  Go out, party too hard and be exhausted. You don’t remember the nights you stayed in… well unless it was a house party maybe.